Can you remember exactly what you were doing on this day four years ago? I assure you with all that is in me that I can remember more than just what I was doing this very day four years ago, I can remember the sights and the sounds and the smells and the way arms felt that wrapped around me tightly, I can remember a lot of things about that day. Things that I wish at times weren't a part of my memories, weren't a part of my past, but wishing them away is by no means going to change the reality of the situation. Let me see if I can in some way get the scene set up for you...

Church sanctuary, brownish carpet on the walls, floor and stage, chairs linked together forming rows in four sections, a display of family photographs at the front of the sanctuary along with some flowers and other decorations, a full praise band set up on the stage, and a few people milling about the room. The mood is quiet and reserved. There is a bit of sadness noted in the room, but for the most part people seem to be trying to keep everything in check. Someone turns on some quiet praise and worship music that seems to keep the atmosphere from becoming too much like what it normally would be for a funeral.

This was no ordinary funeral service. Not by any means. It was more of a celebration of life than a depressing look back at a life lost to one thing or another. Everything from the music choices to the messages presented by two godly men was thought out and put together by a man that I have loved my entire life. Oh yes, I remember much about that day. The scathing glances from some people who had no understanding about why on this earth I was even considering playing flute with the praise band. (I played because he asked me to do so) I remember the harsh words, the negative interactions because of my choices, but more than that I remember the love of caring friends who hadn't walked through this life experience yet but still tried to understand in some small way what I must be thinking or feeling.

Four years have passed since that day. The pain is still very real some days, and with the approaching wedding, it seems to be appearing more and more. I miss my father incredibly. I miss the sound of his laughter, the sound of his voice, his prayers, his hugs, his advice, his somewhat comical looks of disapproval when he thought I was being just a little too silly, "Hey Boy", and talking with him about mission trips and plans for the future. I miss him, but wouldn't want him here with me suffering as he was waiting on that new heart. God answered and gave him the heart he needed, just not it the way I envisioned it going.  God's ways and plans aren't mine, and if I am being just totally honest, well that kind of stinks some times. His plans are for my good.

Four years ago, a little piece of me was lost. Slowly but surely those lost pieces are coming back together in a way that could only be orchestrated by God himself. One thing I am most certain about is that had my daddy gotten the heart here on Earth, he would have been in Africa before I was, and he would have met Jim Cooper. The more I get to know Jim Cooper, the more I am convinced that David was indeed correct. My daddy would have picked him out for me to be my husband. Daddy would have loved Jim. He would have loved his missionary's heart. He would have loved his sense of sarcasm and humor. He just would have loved him. It makes my heart just a bit happier thinking about how much they would have gotten along had they met this side of heaven.

So while my heart is a bit sad today and my eyes are a bit misty, I can't help but smile at the memories new and old that are shaping the woman I have become and have yet to learn to be. Today is the day that we had a celebration of life four years ago, and I am glad to still be celebrating his life today.

Blessed

Do you honestly know what a blessing you are? 

You have stepped in and been such a steadying and calming force for me. Days like today when I get so overwhelmed and lost in all the activity I know that you'll be there right by my side ready to offer strength and peacefulness. 

I love you so much!

Merry Christmas...An Early Christmas present

Good morning! You are soundly sleeping in  the next room this morning as I am typing this from your bedroom. I might have stood at the door and listened to you breathing  as you slept... Maybe... Okay fine I did it. I can't help it. It is the closest  you have been to me in three months. 

Thank you for being the best Christmas present a girl could ask for. My world is complete. We are together again and all I need is to hold your hand and feel you near me. That is it.

I love you so much and can't wait to start our lives together. Now hurry up and wake up... Just kidding!!!!!! 

Love,
Melody 

My most wonderful fiancé,

Today I am thankful. I am thankful that you are taking time out of your days to go and find the perfect house for us to live in. I am thankful that you are searching for a house that will meet our needs as a newly married couple. I am thankful that God chose you to be my husband. I am thankful that God brought me to Kenya for three months. I am thankful that God allowed me to see everything I have seen. I am thankful for each and every child He brought into my path for me to love.

I love you. I love you more than you can possibly know. I do know this much. My love for you is growing deeper day by day. An absolute answer to prayer.

As the days go by, I get more and more excited about becoming Mrs. James Stone Cooper. It is hard for me to believe sometimes that in just a few short weeks, it will be our wedding day.

I love you with all my heart!
Melody

Happy Three Months and One Day

To my most wonderful fiancé,

The 13th of every month can't help but bring a smile to my face. I pause and remember how absolutely nervous I was on July 13th, how much I was beginning to love you on August 13th, how incredibly blessed I was that you asked me to be your wife on September 13th, how much I miss you and how much more I love you on October 13th! It has been a crazy whirlwind of a relationship and I could not be more thankful for it!

My love for you grows every day. I am looking forward to our life together. It is going to be the adventure of a lifetime learning to be your wife and a missionary and a teacher and a mom and so many other things all while living most of the time in a foreign country. I am so glad that God has called me to this life. I am so glad that God chose you for me. You complete me (Yeah I know that was rather cheesy movie line reference). You make my heart beat in new ways. You have already given me some of the most precious gifts I could ever imagine. You have allowed me operate in the giftings God has blessed me with. You have encouraged me to step out and try new things. You have been my biggest cheerleader and my greatest defender. You are an amazing man of God. You are going to be the best husband and father I could ever ask for.

Tonight, I pray so many things for you. I pray that you have supernatural protection over your health. I pray that your time is productive and that you get everything taken care of that needs to be done before we go back to Kenya in March. I pray that we continue to grow closer to each other during the remaining time we have to be apart. I pray that your teaching touches the children in fresh and new ways every time you teach them. I pray that our wedding is a reflection of us and our testimonies. I pray that through our testimonies others find hope and that some come to know Christ as their personal Savior.

I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!

Love,
Your soon to be Wife
Melody Ann

Dear Jim,

Yesterday, I wasn't able to tell you everything I had in my heart. I was just having too hard of a time controlling my emotions. However, as I am sitting here in Dubai I feel like it is time to tell you everything I couldn't last night.

First of all, thank you for choosing me to be your wife. This has been a lifelong dream and I can see it coming true right before my eyes. 

Thank you for such an amazing three months. You introduced me to an amazing group of kids. I am so blessed to call them my own and to know that many of them see me a mom as well.  I was just so sad to see it coming to an end. 

Some of my most precious memories have taken place in the last three months. From celebrating my birthday with 400 or so kids, to date nights, kissing under the stars, learning that intimate time with a man is safe and enjoyable, countless nap times curled up next to you on the couch, visiting children's homes, the start of a relationship, and an engagement,  I don't even have the words to tell you how much all of these things have changed my life entirely.

I am sitting here writing this on the airplane with just a little over two hours left before we finally arrive in Houston. I am so ready to be done with traveling for a bit. I am ready for a bed and a pillow and people that are at least friendly towards me. However, as much as I am ready to be on the ground, I miss you terribly. I miss the sound of your laugh when I come up with some dorky idea or the other. I miss the feeling of your hand holding mine. I miss cuddling up next to you. I miss you kissing my forehead. I miss kissing you! Yeah to put it simply I miss you. I do really well most of he time and then I think of something that I would like to tell you or ask you and the emotions well up heavily. 

I am getting a bit anxious now about meeting Charlotte, Scott, Addison,and Caroline. Don't get me wrong I am super excited but too many failed interactions with people make me nervous about meeting people that I don't know. Silly I know, but still, it is the honest truth about how I feel right now. I am sitting here just thinking and realizing that you can see God's handprints all over this! Your mom has totally stepped up to go do something that should have been done by my parents... Or at least my mom... And it's all I can do to not be overwhelmed with emotion. 

When you get back to Kitale, tell my kids that I love them and miss them. I suppose I have written about all that I can for right now. I need to get my emotions back under control and go get changed. I am sick of these travel clothes already. I love you so much! I will talk with you soon. Perhaps we can try to Skype this weekend at some point. 

Love you,

Melody

Aka the future Mrs. Cooper

Love from Your Fiance!

Jim,

Well I know that today has been a most remarkable day for me. I am sure that you are feeling the exact same way. However, before I can settle in for the night, I knew that I had to get what was in my head and in my heart out on paper. 

Today, you have changed my life entirely. Today was a milestone that at times I was almost certain I was never going to reach. Today marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Today I went from single girl who had a boyfriend to bride.. fiance.. Today I am beginning to see the dreams I thought would remain a dream come true. 

You are the answer to my prayers. You are the man of my dreams. "I have found the one whom my soul loves." 

I am so thankful that God chose this time in our lives for us to find each other and fall in love. I couldn't imagine a love story being any more perfectly written than ours, and through this love story there is going to be opportunities for amazing ministry. God wouldn't have brought us to this place with such a unique story and not give us chances to share about the whole thing. Or well that's my opinion anyway! 

Every time I look at my left hand, my heart jumps just a little bit more. I get just a little bit more excited. I feel my heart growing with love for you! 

All in all this has been the most memorable day of my life with the exception of just a couple of experiences. I believe I have shared most of them with you: the day I was saved, the night I watched as my dad took his last breath on Earth and took his first one in Heaven, the night I played in the Air Force band and sat first chair for the songs we played with them... Not too many nights will EVER compare with this one... Well our wedding night will surpass this night I am sure but that's still five months and 9 days away. Anyway, I think that I have written all that I needed to write. Know that I love you more than my words can say, and I can't wait for the day that my name changes from Melody Ann MacWhirter to Melody Ann Cooper. 

Love,

Melody